If I had to point to one area in which I suffered mightily since childhood, it would be feeling a sense of loneliness. Sometimes it was sharp and deep, other times dull and in the background of my experience. Now I know that loneliness is a lie.
Since today is Valentine’s Day and also my birthday, I decided to share a recent experience of dissolving loneliness. Valentine’s Day has become so commercialized and we often feel so much pressure to be in the “perfect relationship”, so I thought this my be helpful.
Last week, I had a conversation with Stephen Wingate, who describes himself as a “student of the Perennial Wisdom Teachings of Self Knowledge”. I had been listening to Stephen’s audio clips for several weeks and my understanding of my essential nature had deepened. However, I still experienced loneliness. I conceptually understood that I am Aware Presence and that loneliness is an experience that appears within Awareness, yet it still persisted.
I won’t try and paraphrase our conversation because I don’t want to misquote Stephen, Instead I will share the insights that arose over the next few days.
Loneliness is a Lie I believed
I realized that I had transformed my understand of who am I from identification with Caprice, a woman having thoughts, emotions, sensations, beliefs to the Observer of Caprice. I got a bit of relief from suffering with this distance between Caprice’s experiences and the Observer of Caprice. Yet loneliness persisted. What my conversation with Stephen helped me to realize is that:
1) I am the Source of Love. There is no other Source. Because I am the Source of everything that I experience. It can only experience my Mind. If you don’t believe me, try to experience something without thinking about it. Even feelings and body sensations appear in mind. So, I cannot get love from any other person. I am the Source of Love;
2) I am the creator of all of my experience. There is only consciousness. My mind appears in consciousness. It is an object in consciousness. Nobody can put thoughts into my Mind. My own consciousness creates thoughts. Most of these thoughts are just habitual programs. Since I am the Creator of all of my experiences, I cannot be a victim of an illusory “external world”. I create the world through my beliefs which determine my perceptions and interpretations.
3) Loneliness is just a psychological program that I decided to believe in. It is up to me, Present Awareness (or Essence of Caprice, EOC), to decide what to believe in. With this realization, I decided to stop believing in Loneliness.
Is it really that simple? It was in my experience. I realized loneliness was a lie. I saw that this psychological program comes with a set of ideas (I shouldn’t be alone right now), thoughts (negative judgments of Caprice), and emotions (loneliness, sadness, fear), and sensations (tightness in chest). I don’t think the psychological program of loneliness belongs to me. It can’t. I keep reading about the epidemic of loneliness in the world. And I bet that most people experience loneliness the same way I do.
Loneliness is a Program I believed, Until I Didn’t
Loneliness is a psychological program that I made real and true in my life because I believed it was real and true. Whatever you believe is real and true, you will make real in your life. You are that powerful!
On this Valentine’s Day, I invite you to rest in your true Essence – Aware Presence. Elevate your attention to your Highest Self and shower love and compassion down on your personal identity. As I shower love and compassion to Caprice, I know that I am the Source of all Love in my experience.
If you would like support in exploring non-duality, discovering your true nature, starting a business, or home educating your kids… then give yourself the gift of an individual coaching session with Caprice.