Trust the children

Trust the Children

There were some key points that I didn’t have time to make in my interview on the SGT Report, and I want to share them here.

Just in case you follow me because of my work helping entrepreneurs grow their companies and adults to free themselves pyschologically so that they thrive, my other passion is soul-directed education.

I home educated my daughters and my oldest got a free ride to the college of her choice. So, you can home educate your kids and they can get into college if that is their path. And I’m a single, working mom.

Learning is Natural and Fun

Humans are designed to learn so that they grow into self-sufficient beings who self-direct their learning and lives. Learning is a natural, internal process of awakening to Self that best happens as the free inquiry of a relaxed, peaceful, playful mind. We need to trust that humans are designed to learn, and desire is the calling of their soul to learn something. It may be dance, painting, building, writing, or molecular biology. The point is that it is their choosing. 

Learning to talk is the most difficult cognitive process and humans master this without anyone teaching them. You are designed to cooperate with your environment and continuously gather knowledge to learn how to best adapt to your current circumstances.

Learning is not an object or thing that can be tracked and measured. It cannot be forced. 

Indigenous people understood this, so children learned in the community, observing adults, modeling their behavior, and adapting to their environment. Children in industrialized countries are forced to adapt to the artificial, pathological environment of schooling away from the rest of society. As they grow, they awaken to an artificial self. They are taught to survive school and not thrive in life. 

Learning Cannot Happen in an Atmosphere of Fear

Humans are designed to learn and to love. 20% of men and women today have an impaired conscience and low empathy. So, I am addressing the 80% of us loving men and women who want to do good and love life.

Learning cannot happen in an environment of fear. Why? Because with fear comes our natural fight-flight-freeze response. Our body sends extra blood to our muscles so we can flee or fight, depriving the brain of blood temporarily. Apparently, you need to run fast to escape the saber tooth tiger but don’t need to analyze it. 

To use fear as an instrument of control is inhumane. The institution of school has stoked our inner fires of insecurity and fear to control us, keep our butts in seats at school doing make-work that we usually don’t find interesting or relevant. Threats of bad grades, office referrals, in-school suspension, combined with public ridicule and shame, leave students fearful, stressed, and insecure.

Schooling Focuses on Kids’ Weaknesses

The root of human suffering is the belief that “I am this small, separate ego and I am not enough”.  My biggest concern with schooling is that it is emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually abusive. It teaches us that we are not enough. Nobody is good at everything, but schooling forces us to perform in all artificial subject areas according to a made-up timetable. It doesn’t matter what our gifts and interests are. We are labeled “good in English” or “good in math” or “good at sports”. 

We all believe and fear that we are not enough…

  • not smart enough
  • not beautiful enough
  • not skinny enough
  • not rich enough
  • not loved enough
  • not popular enough

You have been trained to compete, fight, cheat, look out for yourself, claw your way to “the top”. Research shows that toddlers are naturally cooperative and compassionate (until it is schooled out of them).

Trust is the Key

All I am saying in this book can be summed up in two words—Trust Children. Nothing could be more simple – or more difficult. Difficult, because to trust children we must trust ourselves – and most of us were taught as children that we could not be trusted.

– John Holt, How Children Learn

Giving our children control of their own education is certainly a risky business. All guarantees that they are keeping pace with their peers are abandoned and replaced with a simple trust that they will explore life of their own initiative.

– Brent Cameron, Self Design

I led a workshop at the California Homeschool Association conference in 2009 entitled Trust. It was focused on helping parents learn to trust their kids and the natural learning process. I started the workshop by asking parents what they truly wanted for their kids. The consensus was they all wanted their kids to be happy. Nobody mentioned good at math, writing, or social studies. So, I’m guessing that you are home educating or considering home educating your kids because you love them and want them to be happy. That’s enough of a why for anyone. 

When we educate to preserve innate wholeness, wisdom and wellbeing, young people will unleash their unlimited capacity to innovate. They can evolve the world and society in a positive direction through their insights.

True education produces secure, independent, literate people who can think for themselves and have self-agency. Education done well is mastery of Self, evolution of consciousness, exploration of gifts and talents, and complete well-being (mental, emotional, physical, psychological, spiritual, and financial). Notice that this list doesn’t include information processing and mastery of subject matter. 

Your ability to successfully navigate this complex society and pursue happiness depends upon your ability to use your mind, connect with your inner wisdom, think critically, and practice self care. By educating yourself, you get to know yourself and the world, learn how to think, and gradually become responsible for your own life. 

Soul-directed education is the path that leads to self-mastery and resilience. Children are wired to explore the world and figure out how they can offer their gifts and talents to their highest purpose.

If you want support on your deschooling or home education journey, you can learn more here.

With love,
Caprice Lea

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